So, today I went to Wal Mart. I know, bad right? But anyway I walked in and was shocked to see that instead of the normal friendly old man, there was a less friendly looking old woman in the greeter chair.

Now, I'm a proper third wave feminist, so I feel like I can say and feel only a little bit of guilt for thinking it in the first place. But I don't think women should be Wal Mart greeters. Don't get me wrong, I believe they can fulfill the job requirements as well as a man, but it just doesn't feel right.

I mean, what is the point of the Wal Mart greeter? To make you feel more comfortable spending lots of money on shit you most likely don't really need, right? When I see an old woman, I don't want to spend money, plain and simple. Old women are, generally speaking, not nearly as much fun as old men because at some point old men stop caring about political correctness and old women never really do.

I realize I'm making ridiculous generalizations here, and I'm sure there is some old woman out there who is the best Wal Mart greeter ever. But, she is canceled out by the grumpy old woman who was greeting today

I will never want someone more than they want me.

I will not be upset about boys for more than 24 hours.

If I keep telling myself these things, they will become truth.



(There are very absolute reasons why I don't date, now I remember what they all are.)

My, my, my...what crazy times these are. It never ceases to amaze me how randomly and out of nowhere things happen. Just when you think you have enough of things figured out that you just might be doing ok....here comes ______ and whoa! wait! not so much...

I'm not a relationship person, in fact, I wouldn't even say I've ever been in like a real one, but I've met someone, and I'm thinking its time to break that mold. Here's to hoping I only screw this up in a way that is cute instead of deal breaking.

...and so begins my new project: blogging at least once a week.

So, I have a theory, and it goes a little something like companies put crack in food so people will get addicted to said food and said company will make a shit ton of money and whatnot. I now believe this is also true about gourmet coffee. I ran out of free half-pounds at Caribou, so I bought some Folgers shit..whatever because I'm cheap and didn't want to spring for the Starbucks kind at Walmart. ANYWAY I made a pot of it this morning.....it was awful. Like...really awful. Clearly, I've been coked out and decieved by gourmet coffee companies. Goddamnit.

In other more serious news: anyone reading this probably knows that I'm very fond of being in the loop. I like knowing what's going on...being a part of the 'in' crowd...you know...that kind of thing. But I'm in a situation where I almost feel like I know too much. Knowledge can be a burden I guess, but disappointment is a bigger one.

I just don't understand why it's so hard for people to just do the right thing. Yeah, sometimes that's a blurry line, but a lot of times there is a very clear right choice, and very clear obvious and undesireable consequences for making the wrong choice...but people do it anyway. And then (I'm not emo, let me be clear, but Dashboard Confessional sums this up perfectly):
"How can you ask for forgiveness? Now you think your crimes are victimless..."

Ugh. Prayers...positive energy...happy thoughts for Winterset tonight. Enjoy the fireworks.

Things I learned this weekend:

1. I am twice as productive when I'm wearing a hood. And I am at least ten times more productive on Saturdays than on Sundays.

2. A bottle of beer placed in the freezer portion of my refridgerator will, in fact, freeze.

3. Norah Roberts movies on Lifetime are as lame as her books.

4. My remote starter will start my car from inside my room. Win.

5. Microwave brownies single handedly encompass everything that is good about the world.

Dilemma:

1)Keep double major in Political Science and Psychology, graduate in 2 years, go to grad school

2)Drop to a Political Science minor (because I don't really need the major), graduate in a year and a half, take a semester off, go to grad school.

What should I do with my life?

Dear Immune System,

Contrary to what you may have read in whatever magazines you subscribe to in there, human beings need air to breathe. So, I think it's ok for me to speak for the rest of my body when I say...

GET TO WORK! THIS SHIT ISN'T GOING TO CLEAR OUT BY ITSELF!

Kisses,
Emily