So, this will probably be my last post for awhile (because I post sooo often as it is). Lack of internet connection and whatnot. I was trying to think of something fun to post, and I realized I hadn't done fun professor quotes at all this year, so here are some of my favorites that I wrote down from this past semester.

Bennet:
(She taught psychology of gender differences...and she's like dumb x10.)

"Alright, anyother thoughts (pause)(longer pause). Mmmmkay....well, but thanks for that."

"...and there were angry feminists there. Most feminists are fine but these were angry."

(talking about schizophrenia)
"The voices sound devilish. They're not nice voices."

Hoffman:
(easily my favorite professor this semester. Intro to American Politics)

"The Confederacy felt they could leave the Union. Lincoln said they couldn't. The Union won that argument."

"This is a pet peeve of political scientists...which doesn't mean much, but still..."

(when talking about least represented groups in congress)
"We could go all the way down to lesbian eskimos!"

"There are a few members of congress who are gay. Some of them are willing to say it, others aren't...but we suspect."

"They won't let you on the (House of Representatives) Rules committee if you're any kind of...I really hate to use this word...Maverick."

"...gosh I sound like Sarah Palin today."

"Who regulates Wall Street? Well, no one...but in theory?"

Clohesy:
(Philosophy: The Art of Thinking)(yes, it was nearly as awesome as it sounds)

"Emotions are natural. Trying to get rid of them would be ridiculous!"

(He used this as an example once)
"So say you live in an apartment building and there is this really crotchity old man that lives there too. He's kind of annoying, but doesn't cause any real trouble. Then one day, a gay couple moves in next door to him....and he just goes ape shit. He's banging on the walls telling them to be quiet when they aren't even making any noise and calling the landlord about every little thing they do. He's really just making their live miserable and...being just a son of a bitch. And they're probably a nice couple too. I mean, it's not like they're doing it in the hallway or anything..."
(I laughed a lot...like...a lot)

"We should get over how we feel. People are people and they will do what makes them happy and we should take joy in that."

(if you want hilarious student quotes from this class, go to www.technocrust.blogspot.com)


Iqbal:
(Intro to Geology)(yes, it was as boring as it sounds...but he was kind of funny...sometimes)

"Let's take a journey to the center of the earth! Yes? That would be a fun one!!"

"..each excitement is different"

"The Cedar River doesn't care about the Gulf of Mexico"

"An aquitard will not make us happy."

"You don't expect to see big boulders flying around! That would be scary, of course!!"

(he put a picture up on the overhead projector thing)
"This is Mars. See...this is where the Martians live... .... I'm kidding this is Iowa."

"...the experts, they know everything."

I had another professor, but he didn't really talk much. It was more of a group activity class (silly psychologists...). We did watch 'Super Nanny' in that class once...so that was fun.

Anyway. That's all for now.

I hate bad days that end well. I feel like the day should pick, and it should either be bad or good, and it should be an all or nothing deal. Either everything I touch should be shit or gold, because shitty gold is good for no one.

School has me down. I used to be so sure of everything, and now I have no idea. I hate to say it, but I almost am on the verge of kind of missing high school. There were so many possibilities then, and when I graduated I was so sure of how I saw my life. Even last year, despite all the change I still had a constant future. I don't know what's happened this year, but I'm having serious indecision about what I'm going to do after college. Law school has never seemed like an actual tangible idea, but now it is. I'm not sure I'm smart enough for it, or if I have the commitment for it. But is counseling really what I want to do either?

I guess possibilities are fun for awhile, but then they just get overwhelming.

Sophomore slump, party of one.

Gum Review:

So, I decided this gum reviewing would be most effective if I covered all the brand's version of one flavor. I have spent the last several weeks chewing Cinnamon gum, and here is my verdict on it.

Stride: Good flavor in the beginning, but after about half an hour it kind of fades into just spicy (where it doesn't really taste like anything except hot). The spicy flavor lasts for probably another hour or two, I never really chewed it that long because it was like "ick this hurts to chew".

Orbit:MUCH sweeter than Stride. Doesn't fade into spicy, but the flavor doesn't last very long.

Five:Holy crap, gross. It starts out with the best flavor for like 5 minutes, then it tastes like black licorce for a few minutes...then it just tastes like hot. Really not good at all.

Dentyne: Not great flavor, and you only get 12 pieces per (crappy and poorly designed) package, so really its just not worth buying. Same with Eclipse. The economy sucks, so get as much gum as you can for your dollar.

Verdict: I'm not a huge fan of Cinnamon gum to begin with, but if I were going to buy a package of it, I would go with Orbit. Really, its the only one that isn't to spicy to deal with.

Next flavor with be peppermint.

So, I know I said I would be live blogging tonight, but two things happened that prevented me from doing so. 1)I had a group meeting at 9 and 2)they called the election at 10. Ergo, there was really no time for fun live blogging, but here are my thoughts anyway.

Right now I'm a crazy mix of overwhelmed, elated and relieved.

I am overwhelmed because I can't believe what happened tonight. I have spent so much time on this campaign, and now it's over. What ever shall I do with all the time I will now have?

I am elated because I think America made the best choice tonight.

And I'm relieved that people didn't get over-confident and still turned out to vote, the Bradley Effect has been shot down, and the youth of this country didn't suck.

This is the most important event I have ever witnessed, and may ever witness. I am very proud to be an American right now.

Congratulations to everyone who had a part in this campaign. We won tonight.

I can't even write anymore right now. The next few days are going to be very exciting, so stay tuned kittens.

So, I was working when Barack's extended commercial was on, but I'm going to watch it now, and liveblog it...kind of. It's more like a post-live-liveblog. Anyway, you would do well to go to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GtREqAmLsoA and watch along while you're reading. Then it might make more sense. Anyway, here we go.

:10-this starts with weird farm scenes. I'm kind of over it already
:50-he's wearing a red tie. I hate when he wears red.
1:20-I like this music. It's like "I'm discovering something awesome in this movie"
1:50-I just feel like it needs to be said that I love this idea. Buying tv time=yes please.
2:00-Meet Rebecca Johnson. Actress paid with donation money. lol.
4:00-He wears red ties a lot. This one has stripes. Oooooo.
4:25-Everyone please note-he IS wearing a flag pin.
5:10-And we're outlining plans. Good. I didn't know he was going to give a tax credit to businesses who hire employees in the U.S. I like it.
6:44-haha...the govenor of Ohio is on here. Ooo and Kansas...is that state still in play?
7:45-Now the music is kind of blues-y. Oh, that's because the guy is playing the geetar. I understand.
8:37-I hope I never get rhumetiod arthritis...makes your hands all gross. Really I think any kind of arthritis does that. Silly chronic illnesses.
9:45-I like how he's in an office for this dealyo. That's supposed to make him look presidential. In case he hasn't looked presidential before...psh whatever.
10:40-More plans. I like plans. Except sometimes I like not having plans.....I mean, the government should probably always have a plan, I just meant me personally....I'm bored with explaining this.
12:08-to find out what the money spent on the war in Iraq could be doing, go to www.costofwar.com unless you don't like being depressed
13:10-I wonder how you get in these commercials. Like do they put ads out for them? Or do you just show up to a rally and then they film you?
14:00-That woman is kind of annoying. I mean, she's clearly a kick ass person, but...at a distance.
15:00-"You feel like you can't breathe even though you need to breathe"...wtf?! l.o.l.
16:00-And let's bring it down...to biography time, the condensed verision, because we're all to lazy to read his books
17:19-Please elect this man, so you and I and everyone else can go to college for like free.
19:20-I bet health insurance companies, if they had a collective vote, would not vote for Obama, cause he's going to screw them. Woot.
21:21-They said Dodd...but what about him? I think Dodd is my favorite senator. Well, I mean besides Obama...maybe...I dont' know, it's close.
24:30-Foreign plans whatnot. Hey! He's talking about Iowa! He says Taliban like tal-eeeee-bon. I don't know what's correct, just an observation.
26:11-I love Bill Richardson. He was my second choice at caucus.

Well, I thought it was going to be half an hour, but turns out it was 27 minutes and 10 seconds. Someone got screwed there I think, but I don't know who.

If there is anyone left who's going to vote but hasn't decided yet, there are probably better things to look at than this. I mean, it was cool to watch and I understand its purpose, but I almost think it would have been better last week. Maybe that's just me. I already voted, and I hope if you're reading this you will vote, because it's goddamn important.

Programming note-I will be live blogging election night. I'm going to update every hour(ish) and I don't plan on sleeping until they call a winner or say they can't because of recounts. It is probably going to be the most important night of our lives kittens, so you would do well to watch some coverage, or just read my blog. Whatevs.

1st question-why is your economic plan better than the other guys?

8:03-For the first time I like John McCain's tie. Nice choice.

8:05-Red, however, is not Barack's color.

8:06-So far, neither of them have answered the specific question.
- John McCain is looking might freaky looking at Barack

8:07-Obama's plan had 2 points, McCain's had 1...Obama wins that.

8:08-Here is the taking the fight to Obama technique. Woot.

8:09-Obama is wrong. He keeps saying 95% of families would get a tax break but really only like 86% of families would get a tax cut under his plan. Still more than McCain...but still.

8:12-McCain tried to make a joke..or something....awww

8:13-First rule of debate Johnny-DON'T INTERRUPT YOUR OPPONENT IT MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE AN ASSHOLE

8:14-Scheiffer's tie is hideous

Question 2-Whatcha gonna cut in order to slow down the deficit?

8:16-Obama says lets give the children free college=YES PLEASE

8:17-Obama opposes off shore drilling because it won't give us any noteable relief and that won't even happen for like 10 years.

8:18-John is always saying he knows how to do all this stuff, and I always just wonder how he seems to know everything...
-He wants to cut out all the pork, but I would disagree that pork is always a bad thing. And
they account for like 1% of the budget...so...it wouldn't that make much difference

8:19-Holy crap Obama just said what I just said! Emily=1

8:20-"I am not president Bush"-yeah but you sure did vote with him 90% of the time

8:23-HAHA LOLOLOL Obama just used FoxNews against John McCain...Obama just won this debate, I don't even care what else happens
-"Essentially what you are proposing is 8 more years of the same thing"=Nice

8:24-"Your argument for standing up to leaders in your party isn't very convincing"....Didn't Obama just give like 6 examples of that??

Question 3-Will you say what you've said in your commercials to each other's faces? Kick Ass. Amazing Question.

8:26-We're bringing up John Lewis now? Why would Obama repudiate Lewis's remarks...because he was right...

8:27-Obama has spent more money on negative campaigning than any campaign in history? Really? Johnny can prove it? So why didn't he? Maybe he's spent more on negative campaigns because he's spent more on any kind of campaigns because his campaign has raised more money than (I'm guessing) ANY candidate ever.

8:30-Obama just congratulated McCain's football team...lol.
-"Of course I'm talking about the economy"-McCain=yeah...since...yesterday....?
8:31-Obama is calling McCain out on his supporters yelling terrorist and Sarah Palin not stopping it. How will McCain respond?

8:33-McCain says he's repudiated every time someone got out of line. That I'm not sure about, but I know Sarah Palin hasn't.

8:34-Johnny is PISSED. Obama is trying to bring the talk back to issues, and McCain just wants to nitpick about John Lewis. That's probably why he's losing right now...

8:35-Ayers=everyone who has had anything to do with education in Illinois has had contact with Ayers. AND John McCain was the keynote speaker at some ACORN shinndig a few years ago. Look it up.

8:37-Ayers has never been involved in Obama's campaign and never will be. Good Answer.

8:38-I can't keep up with what he's saying...but this is a ridiculously kick ass answer. Holy shit. Mind=blown.

8:39-McCain...Obama just explained his relationship with these organizations...GET OVER IT. Ugh.

Question 4-Why would the country be better off if Biden became president vs Palin becoming president?

8:40-Justin came into my room so I missed Obama's answer.

8:42-Do a shot! McCain said Reformer twice.

8:42-Haha...Sarah Palin is a role model for women. 2 words-compulsive breeder.

8:43-Reformer again!
-Sarah Palin understands special needs kids...we gotta find out the reason Autism is on the
rise...what does that have to do with the rest of your campaign

8:44-YES. "Finding out about Autism will require more funds, and an across the board spending freeze won't allow for that." Good answer.

Bob cut them off. Ugh. That was a good one topic. Sad face.

Question 5-Give us a number of how much we can reduce foreign oil imports in the next 4 years

8:47-We're going to eliminate all imports from the middle east and Venezula....how Johnny?

8:48-Obama=In 10 years we'll be off foreign oil. That sounds a little more realistic to me. McCain seems to be saying we're only going to buy oil from Canda...but...is there really enough oil in Canda to power everything in America that currently needs it? We can't get off oil until we have alternate energy sources, and we won't be able to do that totally in the next 4 years. Nice try though John.

8:51-"I admire so much senator Obama's eloquence" ...wow that was kind of a dick thing to say. Not worded well.

8:52-Haha, John says drugs are killing young Americans. And your wife is stealing them from her own charity...yeah, we should probably get an handle on that.

8:53-John seems so worked up and just really angry...but Obama is like totally cool. I know I'm biased...but wow.

8:54-Obama's fuel efficient cars and alternate engery cars tax cut plan=yes please. Like he keeps saying, we can't drill our way out of this problem.

8:55-"Obama wants to restrict trade and raise taxes"....oh John...*sigh*

Question 6-Something about healthcare

8:56-there's a lot of yelling outside in the lawn...wonder what that's about....

8:57-Obama's healthcare plan is badass. I don't care what you say, it is badass.

8:59-McCain=fighting against fat kids. I agree...but its funny.

9:00-Whoever this Joe the Plumber guy is...he's fucking famous now.

9:01-I wonder how many Joe the Plumber shirts will be online tomorrow...Joe...lolz

9:02-I'm over healthcare....NEXT PLEASE

9:03-Johnny, what in the world are you talking about? You seem to be having a difficult time staying on topic tonight dear....lets work on that

9:05-Obama is looking a little flustered.

OMG Abortion question....this is going to be good.

9:06-didn't McCain used to support a woman's right to choose to have an abortion?

9:08-He just said anyone who supports Roe v Wade is not qualified to be on the supreme court. Wow....I can't believe he just said that...really...wow

9:11-John=we have to change the culture of America. Then he said the 'pro abortion' movement. He is so wrong here. I'm not pro abortion...I'm pro choice.

9:13-Obama on partial birth abortion=for a ban on partial birth abortion as long as it provides a clause for the health of the mother. Agreed.

9:14-Obama=he's saying lets try to stop pregnancies before they get to the abortion stage.

9:15-John-STOP SAYING PRO ABORTION.

Last Question=We spend more on education, but we still suck...whatcha gonna do?

9:17-Obama=recruit an army of new teachers....lol

9:18-John=this is the civil rights issue of the 21st century. what?

9:19-John=create competition between schools? How are you going to implement that?

9:20-John=reward good teachers, yeah I'm all about that, but we also need to get good teachers into schools that sucks...which includes inner city schools, which is not where good teachers want to be. So...how's that gonna work?

9:23-#3 pet peeve about John McCain....Washington does not have an 'r' in it. WASH not WaRsh...duh

9:24-Why are we talking about Autism again? I'm all about curing that shit...but that's not what the question is...so...yeah...

9:26-I wonder if Joe the Plumber is going to come up on stage with them at the end of this. I wonder who he's voting for?

9:27-John closing statement=1) we're not friends. we do not have pizza at either of our houses, so stop thinking that we're friends. 2) thank you for serving John, but I don't think you're the best man for this job.

9:29-Obama closing statement=he just said 'our brighter days are still ahead'...didn't Johnny say that at the last debate? lame. Its ok though, I already voted for him earlier today.

That is that. I'm going to say Obama won. Your thoughts?

P.S. Neither of the lady's outfits were cute. Your vote cannot be determined by who's wife was hotter tonight, I'm sorry.

What I'm chewing this week: Sangria Fresca by Orbit

3 stars.

Flavor-Fruity, I guess. I've never had sangria before, so I can't say if that's what it tastes like. So it's kind of hard to describe it as anything other than 'fruity'.

Texture-Good. It doesn't dissolve, at least in my experience, but it doesn't get super hard either...so it's just good.

Flavor Duration-O.K. It lasts about through a class (so 50 minutes) then its pretty well gone.

Side-note-It's pretty good at quenching thirst. Sometimes when you're really thirsty in class but you don't have a beverage...this gum will take care of you.

Overall, a pretty average gum. There are better options if you want something fruity, in my opinion, but worth a try.

IDEA

After (fingers crossed) Obama wins this election. This would be the best movie ever.

Premise-Cindy McCain and Sarah Palin travel across America, Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie in 'The Simple Life' style documentary, directed by Christopher Guest (he directed 'Best in Show' and 'A Mighty Wind').

THAT WOULD BE THE FUNNIEST FUCKING MOVIE EVER IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD!

What I'm chewing this week:

Fabulous Fruitini from Orbit.

I'm going to give this 3 out of 5 stars. 2 of those stars are based on the name, because that's probably the best name on a package of gum I have ever seen.

Flavor-Very tropical. Can deffinetly taste a lot of mango in it, but it also has some tingle like mint gums do (that's kind of Orbit's thing-they make everything a little minty).

Texture-Buttery is the only word I can think of to describe it. Its very soft and smooth before the flavor goes away, then it gets a little tougher (that's what she said?). It does stay in tact though, as in, it doesn't dissolve in your mouth (like some other flavors of Orbit do).

Flavor duration-Not great. Has maybe 20 minutes of optimal flavor then it goes to mild flavor...then it just goes away. I usually want to get it out of my mouth in about 40 minutes, which isn't very long by today's gum standards.

Overall, I was a little bit let down. But I suppose with a name as amazing as Fabulous Fruitini....my expectations were a bit high.

So, my step mom has added me on facebook. I feel weird about it. She got a myspace like a year ago and read all my blogs from there and sent me strange messages. I'm not nearly as intense on facebook...but still. I feel like her being able to read everything restricts my freedom to write whatever the fuck I want. I probably shouldn't feel that way...but I do.

And what is the world coming to anyway when parents are on the social networking sites? The age limit on those things is like...35....then you need to move on. Unless you have a valid reason to be on there other than to network socially. LAME.

I had a revelation of sorts this weekend. I was going to 5th Quarter Friday night, and I was thinking about what I was going to do if someone tried to hug me...and how to avoid the awkwardness that would surely ensue. Then I started trying to think of people that I actually enjoy hugging...and there's only 1. Which led me to conclude-I am an awkward hugger.

I don't think I was always this way...but I deffinetly am now. I make hugging really awkward though, and it sucks because it puts people off and they can't figure out why. They (and I didn't either until I had this revelation) know that an awkward moment just happened, after the hug, but its hard to pinpoint what exactly about the moment is awkward...then they think its them. But it is most deffinetly me and my awkwardness. Now that I've been thinking about it too, I realized I kind of have a lot of anxiety about hugging. Like, will it happen? what am I going to do if ___ tries to hug me?

Sometimes its really awkward not to hug too. Like when I was leaving school for the summer, there were several occasions when I probably should have hugged people but didn't because I thought it would be awkward. Its really awkward either way. So I guess the question in the situation becomes-is an awkward hug less awkward than no hug at all?

I don't know exactly what about my hugging is awkward, but it most deffinetly is, and I apologize to everyone who ever tries to hug me, because I will probably make it weird, but I don't really mean to. It just happens.

(P.S. I chew a lot of gum. I would sort of consider myself a gum connoisseur. There is a lot of gum on the market these days, and its hard to sort out which ones you might like best, or would be best to take on a date or...whatever other situations warrant a piece of gum. So I'm going to start reviewing it. There will be categories and all manner of fun things...starting soon. Woot.)

Today, I am ready to give up politics forever. I'm not angry person, in fact usually its pretty difficult to get me worked up anything...but I tell you something, some fuckers have figured out how and I am fucking pissed.



I have been called a sheep. What I'm taking that to mean is I cannot think for myself or form an educated opinion based on my beliefs and careful examination of the candidates because I have been so wowed by one candidates speaking ability that my brain cannot even function. That is probably the most offensive thing I have ever been called.



I don't have a lot in this world. God knows I don't have the money, looks or body to get ahead in life. I have a brain. I HAVE A FUCKING BRAIN AND I CAN USE IT. So when you insult it, and you say it is not capable of functioning...you are insulting EVERYTHING that I have. Everything that I am.



And I'm not going to take that from people who call themselves my friends.



I have lost so much respect for some of these people in the last 2 days. I was on Tyler Pauly's side during the underage drinking debocle over the summer, and what does he say now? That my opinion doesn't matter. FUCK HIM. C.J. Peterson thinks all liberals are sheep? WHAT THE FUCK DOES HE THINK HE IS BY FUCKING WORSHIPPING THE REPUBLICAN PARTY?! Jack Simmons is a fucking ditto. He has come up with nothing original throughout these posts, just ripping off Tyler's ideas...which I guess would make him a FUCKING SHEEP TOO.



Why am I taking this so seriously? Well, to me, this is the equivalent of calling a girl a cunt. That is a horrible word for most girls, because you're reducing them to a fuckhole. In my case, these people are reducing me to a mindless animal that people cut up, kill and eat. That is fucking wrong.



I'm will be voting for Barack Obama in November because I think he is the best option for the presidency we have been presented with. Do you disagree? GOOD. Not everyone is supposed to agree, that's the fucking point of this country. So argue with me. Fight me about it, tell me I'm wrong. But if you start that, I'm going to do the same to you, and you can't just end the argument by saying 'Well, you're only voting for him because he's a good speaker.' NO. I'M VOTING FOR HIM BECAUSE I THINK HE'S BETTER. That's like saying 'You're only voting for McCain because he was a POW.' No, you're voting for him because you like his ideas and you think he's better. That's great, have an opinion...BUT FUCKING RESPECT ME FOR MINE.



And do not, ever again, whatever you do, de-humanize me, or anyone else for having an opinion. That makes you the lowest kind of scum on the planet.

Whenever I'm in an airport about to get on a plane, I like to play this game where I 1)try to guess who I will be sitting by and 2) try to figure out who the most interesting person on the flight would be (i.e. who I would ideally be sitting by). I have NEVER in my entire life guessed correctly, but...that's right, today I did.

It was the flight out of DesMo, it was 6:30ish in the morning, and interesting people generally don't fly at that hour, so I had to go to my second teir of interesting which is labeled 'eccentric'. Turns out, said person was a middle aged woman wearing a bandana on her head, a Harley Davidson t-shirt and some very intense looking boots-eccentric biker chic...yes please!

So when it turned out that she was in fact the person I was assigned to sit next to, I was doubley happy because I had correctly guessed, and it was the ideal person. Emily=1 Life=0. So we sit down, I say hi, she says hi...I'm excited because you can tell she's a talker and I'm in the mood for an interesting story.

Enter crabby flight attendent who informs us that the emergency exit row is empty and she needs 2 people to sit in said row...and eccentric biker chic and I are the top candidates. Balls.

I felt it would be awkward to assume that eccentric biker chic and I would strike up a classic airplane friendship, or at the very least that she felt the same way I did, so reluctantly I agreed and so did she, and we sat across the aisle from each other, and all I could do was wonder what might have been...

Life=1...Emily=0

I think a great invention would be sunscreen that doesn't smell like every other sunscreen there is. I really hate the smell of sunscreen, and as a result am less inclined to wear it. There are plenty of other serious negatives about sunscreen, and really only one positive which I think is really debatable because in order to prevent cancer you have to re-apply the shit like every hour, which seems to me like a ploy to get you to buy more sunscreen because people are so afraid. I'm sure there's an economic concept for that, but since the only economics class I've taken was with Mr. Barker (and we all know how those tend to go), I don't know what its called.

But what I do know is this: when little kids walk buy me, or when people come through the drive thru at Caribou smelling like sunscreen, I feel gross and greasy and want to take a shower. And that's just awkward and uncomfortable.

For realz.

Last night my mom and I had a fight. I'm an idiot, because sometimes I think I might actually be able to make my mom understand how I feel about my life. I told her how angry I was, she didn't really get it, but at least she got that I was pissed in a way that won't go away overnight. Its not like I want a lot from my mom, she's just really the only parent option that I have, and somewhere inside me there's still enough of a kid that I still need a parent.

And I realized something last night about my mother that I'd never understood before: since the moment I was born, she's been preparing for me to leave her. And when I got to be a teenager, she got fucking scared about it, and she left me. Not physically, but emotionally she hasn't been there at all since I was 14. The crazy thing about that is I do the same thing. It would appear I am more like my mom than my dad after all.

In other news, my car was broken, but we took it in and its a no big deal problem, so my life does not totally suck. Also, my friends are amazing, and I feel like I should remind everyone that they should be jealous of the great people I know.

So how 'bout that storm last night, eh? Andy and I were watching Queer as Folk and he was going to leave and the fucking door like violently blew open...and he stayed for awhile. After it was over, I took Bella out, and there was a huge ass stick on the porch and the little helicopter things were everywhere. It was pretty ridikalus. I guess 85 mph winds have that affect on trees and whatnot.

I really like thunderstorms. I like to sit outside and watch them roll in and watch the sky turn orange. That's like my favorite. Dad and I used to go outside right before a big storm and he'd convince me to not chicken out and go inside when the thunder got house-shaking loud.

Last night was scary though. I don't like loud wind and tornados tie with floods in my book for scariest weather. Indiscriminate destruction is what that is.

Another thing that pissed me off last night=I turned on the porch light when I took Bella out, within 30 seconds a motherfucking goddamn disgusting stupid awful junebug was flying into the light.

Summer has arrived.

Today Ryan and I went and saw Prince Caspian. It was hands down, without question the best $8.75 I have ever spent on a movie. I don't know exactly what it is or how they do it, but those movies are so captivating and just fucking perfect...I felt like crying in the middle. Nothing sad was even happening, it just felt like a perfect moment and that might deserve tears. Sometimes.

Anyway, what I'm saying is, way to go Disney. You are boss.

In other news, I read The Perks of Being a Wallflower this week. My response=Jesus, no wonder everyone is so freaking emo in this town. I feel like people take the wrong message from it, but I guess that would be easy to do. It wasn't meant to be depressing, but I probably would have done the same thing if I'd read it 2 or 3 years ago. It was ok, maybe 3/5.

I feel weird being home. Not so much uncomfortable weird, just different weird. Like I've gotten so much older and this town hasn't aged a bit. This past week felt like a month, not because I was bored by any means,...I dunno, maybe life is just slower here. But holy crap there's still SO MUCH summer ahead of me. What to do with all that time? Answer: What is work?

We got a Mexican restaurant now, so I suppose that's something. Yeah for culture.

In conclusion, there was a disappointing lack of blood in There Will be Blood. Really, I can think of many better ways to spend 3 hours, but at the same time it was a really good movie and worth watching just to really appreciate the last like 10-15 minutes. For shiz.

I quit dating. Boys, girls, I'm done with them all.

Fuck emotional connections
and cuddling
and meeting friends
and flirting
and calling each other boyfriend/girlfriend
and every other goddamn thing that goes with a relationship.

I hereby resign myself to one night stands and being a make-out whore when I'm drunk.

And cats when I'm old.

Lots and lots of cats...

I think life is easiest when we can boil all of our problems down to one common factor. For example, until recently, everything wrong with my life was a result of having an 8 o'clock class (I actually blame the professor for this....fucking Jim). So my terrible procrastination problem, my insomnia, my inability to beat 'Raining Blood' on Guitar Hero, my messy room and anything else troublesome in my life were a result of me hating that class and having to get up at fucking 7:30 in the damn morning to go to it.

Now however, I see I was terribly wrong. None of this is Jim's fault, and I feel I should write him a letter apologizing for hating him all semester because I thought he was ruining my life.

So who is the real culprit? I'll tell you, its birds, specifically the anti-christ crow and the other little things that live in the tree outside my window.

The anti-christ crow showed up shortly before spring break, and I swear it is the devil incarnate. Every Monday, Wednesday and Friday I have an 8, 11 and 12 o'clock class. Usually I go to breakfast at 9 (after Jim's class) and have special time with Lauren, then I come back to my room and I have about an hour before I have to leave for my next class. So being that I'm me and do stupid things, usually I take an hour nap (bad idea kittens, bad idea). And that goddamn crow sits outside my window and ba-kaws the whole time. Then (this is the kicker) when I come back at 1, its not here anymore, but I can hear it in the next tree over, so its not as loud. Should I decide to take an afternoon nap (which is like everyday, let's be honest)(I'm an insomniac don't judge me) THE FUCKING THING COMES BACK TO THIS TREE AND BA-KAW'S ALL FUCKING AFTERNOON! I've yelled at it to scare it away, but it'll come back after like 10 minutes. So, it is the anti-christ crow.

The other little things just came this week, and I believe they have allied themselves with the anti-christ crow, probably because it threatened to eat them if they didn't join it in making me miserable. The other little things don't are on some kind of fucked up schedule, because right now its 3:54 a.m. and they are out in that tree chirping. And they've been at it for a good half an hour now. WTF!?!?!?!? Birds chirp during the day (ideally) in trees not near windows where people are trying to sleep, not in the middle of the damn night! And, I can't yell at them to try to scare them away because I'll wake my neighbors up, and I'm polite, unlike birds.

I'm starting to assume all birds are evil, and am more adament than ever about killing every bug I see in order to starve the birds (sacrifices have to be made, and bugs are gross so I don't feel bad). But through these experience I've learned that birds are the root of all evil in my life. Birds are (literally at the moment) keeping me from falling asleep at night, they make dining center food totally unappetizing, and they have prevented Kate Winslet from winning an academy award.

Fuck you birds. Fuck you.

Why today was the best day ever:

1) My mom and I used to watch this show called "Supermarket Sweep", and I didn't think anyone else knew what it was. It came up randomly in conversation 3 times today. Freaking weird, but also awesome.

2) I thought I totally bombed a test, but I only mostly bombed it

3) I had Jimmy Johns for dinner, and I don't feel bad about it because ...

4) I did 80 minutes of yoga

5) I had a really funny dream that I joined the army and my job was to drop kangaroos in Afghanistan (like instead of food), but if the kangaroos weren't wearing purple vests and boxing gloves we had to send them back to the zoo.

6) I started reading that Anne Lamott book Sara Lamb gave Ellyn to give me. I don't think it will make me a christian, but I like her a lot.

7) I found out Sheena is working this weekend. So on Sunday its going to be me, Sheena and J.C. aka my 2 favorite people to work with ever. Me=excited.

8) After an hour of scanning, my computer has no viruses...I didn't think it did, but I think its encouraging anyway.

9) The Magic Bullet show is on right now

10) I was kind of having a super crappy week, and I was hanging out with Andrew tonight...and HE GOT ME A FLOWER!!! =sweetest.thing.ever.!

All in all, shitty week, good day.

So, I discovered something last night, that I had always sort of suspected to be true, but had no real proof of-first kisses are fucking awkward.

I mean, in the movies, they're like all nice, and romantic and blah blah blah. But in real life....not so much. I think its because when you first start kind of dating someone, like everything is awkward because you have to do this crazy mind reading thing where you've got to figure out what they're thinking because you don't want to be the one that's in like more. I feel almost worst for guys because they like want to touch girls (I mean appropriatly), but they've gotta figure out if the girl is ok with that, cause you don't want to piss the girl off in the beginning.

Mind reading.

So, when the first kiss does happen, its usually after some other awkward physical touch, and it just puts an awkward twist on the whole evening. But, for some reason, either despite the awkwardness, or maybe because of it, its still kind of cute.

...but awkward....

I suppose, logically speaking, you have to get the first one out of the way so you can have the second one, which I'm hoping is much less awkward and more romantic and perfect and whatnot.

Oh life, you are a funny friend!

So, I woke up this morning at 10 (I skipped my 8...because, well Megan came over and we watched Shop Erotic until like 3...and then getting up at 7:30 for class just really wasn't for me), and as I was checking my email to make sure that God still hates me and didn't make Dise cancel humanities, I realized, to my sort of horror that the pressure ball from my nose ring is gone.

One of 3 things had to have happened, I'll list them in order of likliness. 1)I knocked it off at some point in the night and its now lost in the jungle of dust and empty water bottles under my bed. 2)I sniffed it up, and it went down my throat and is now festering in acid in my stomach. 3) I sniffed it up and its now in my sinuses and will probably somehow travel to my brain and I'll die.

I'm pretty sure its on the floor, because even though it was pretty little, the hole to go up to my sinuses if fucking tiny...and it would have hurt like a son of a bitch, at least enough to wake me up with intense pain in my nose. The way I figure, if it hurts to sniff cocaine, a powder, a pressure ball which is solid, would hurt a lot worse. Plus I would probably have a headache, and my body would be producing a shit ton of snot to try to get the damn thing out. And I would probably be able to feel it. Logically, it is on the floor somewhere.

However, my intense hypochondria is convincing me that I'll probably die later today. And if that's the case, well, Andy is in charge of my funeral music and Caitlyn Ryan gets my shoes.

Today, I'm feeling conflicted about my major. I've always (I mean...ALWAYS) thought that psychology was what I was supposed to do, especially after the accident. For some reason its just always been there, and when I told everyone I wanted to be an actress or a writer, in the back of my mind it was always psychologist.

But, I'm becoming increasingly agitated. Mr. Kammin always said that in psychology, your first patient is yourself, and that's part of what has drawn me to it. I've always felt like the answer to everything is somewhere inside myself, and if I keep working at it, I'll figure out what's wrong with me.

Now, I'm starting to get scared about what I'm going to find. Maybe I just don't want to know. On the other hand, it pisses me off that I'm even thinking that, because I'll be damned if I'll ever back down from a fight. But maybe this is one that I can't win, and I should just stop digging into my mind before I find something I don't want to see.

As you can see, I've had wayyyyyyy too much time to think lately.

(sidenote-don't get freaked out, i'm really ok. i'm not feeling overly depressed or stressed or anything like that, i'm just trying to make good, well thought out decisions for once in my life, and this is one of those that i'm finding ridiculously perplexing)

I hate when I feel like writing, but I've blown all my good words on a paper for a class that I don't care about. Silly me and my inability to plan ahead.

-So its gonna be one of these kind of blogs.

-I slept a lot over spring break. It was weird, but refreshing. Could have helped that like...everynight execpt one I was intoxicated in one way or another. That always helps.

-Spring break was busier than I wanted. Apparently, having no plans just means that I'll make more plans than I really want to have time for. Hopefully, summer will be better. That makes it sound like I had a bad spring break....totally untrue, it was a blast and I did exactly what I wanted and I saw everyone I wanted to see. And I hung out with my boys, and so of course it was amazing!

-My water tastes like refridgerator. And I'm thirsty. And poor. Damnit.

-I only got to watch one episode of Xena while I was home. It was sad. But not really overly sad because there was enough gay that I didn't need Xena as a dyke-a-licious supplement. And let me just say, they really REALLY gay-ed up season 6. Probably by the end of the week I will write a thing about really why I think I liked this show so much, or maybe I won't. It'll be a fun suprise!

-I started doing yoga. It hurts.

-I got a new ear piercing. It hurts. Its called a 'conch' and it made me laugh because it reminded me of that spongebob episode where they wreck a plane or something and they are consulting the magic conch shell. And I'm excited because I can put a bar between it and my tragus and it'll be like an industrial execpt I've never seen an actual person with one like that. Trust me when I say it will be badass. Emily Uniqueness points=+1

-Tomorrow I think I'm going to clean my room. Haha...maybe.

-That's all for now.

So, here is my official word/experience of the lockdown yesterday:

I didn't find out about it until 6, cause I was at work. And when we got the word, they were making it sound like someone was actually in Dancer with a gun. So, that was kind of freaky, but I wasn't too worked up because they weren't saying anyone was hurt, and that's like as far away from me as you can possibly get while still being on this campus. Then they started saying that it was just a potential threat, but we say cops taking 2 guys out of Rider (which is right next door)...and that was when things got really scary cause it felt like there was more going on than they were telling us.

Anyway, so I got back to my room, and found out what was really going on and started calling everyone that called me, and yeah. It ended up being kind of stupid, but I'm ok with that becaues with the way things are sometimes its worth it.

There were some other people that got really worried, but I was never more than minorly alarmed, and I'll tell you why: All the goddamn bomb threats! I'm pretty sure the ridiculous number of times someone threatened to blow up my high school has made a block in my brain that prevents me from getting worried about that kind of stuff. The lock down reminded me of that time when we had to go outside at noon, because someone wrote on a bathroom wall that the school was going to explode.

Seriously?

No.

So, the lockdown gave the campus a little excitement, but everything is totally back to normal today..and all is well in the kingdom.

But, now I'm super extra excited to come home!

So, yesterday I was at breakfast (after getting up at 7 AND going to my 8 o'clock class...both independent minor miracles), and they always have The Today Show on all the t.v.'s which seems odd to me, but whatever that's how it is.

Anyway, they had this 17 MONTH old little girl that could read. What.The.Fuck? Not even 2 years old, and the kid can like...read shit. That's in-fucking-sane. And what's worse, is that the little kids are getting smarter every year. Now they're learning to read in kindergarten, which is putting shame to the letter people that I was learning about in kindergarten.

This has led me to conclude, that 1 or 2 or both of these things will happen: 1) they will come up with a degree higher than a doctorate, cause by the time that little girl graduates college, everyone's gonna have to be a doctor just to make a decent living. B.A.'s will just be a starter degree. And/or 2) my education will become completly obsolete. And, that's just more than a little depressing.

Thus, I have decided I'm going to drop out of society Chris McCandless style (minus the starving to death in a bus in Alaska part). Execpt, I'd rather move to Canada and become a hermit. I'm guessing that is a mostly ideal environment to have a shit-ton of cats when I'm a cat lady.

Dear Hillary Clinton,

Please drop out of the presidential election race. You won't become the democratic candidate, and the reason I know this is because of facebook. The anti barack obama group has less than 20,000 members, the anti you group has over 900,000. Duh. Drop out so I can start liking you again.

That's all.

Love,
Emily

I'm starting a new project today, because it looks warm outside and spring always seems like a time to start things. I dreamed this up the other day when I was making a mix cd, and I was trying to figure out which Shin's song on the Garden State Soundtrack was supposed to change your life. I came across this thing that Zach Braff wrote about how that soundtrack is really the soundtrack of his life...and I thought 'Holy shit, that would be like major fun to do.' So, I started looking through the music on my computer, and realized that at least half of it is mix cds and I don't have the names of the songs.

So, I'm going through my music library, song by song, google-ing the lyrics, and naming everything. It was fun for awhile, now its just tedious. But I'll be happy about it when I'm done, and there is some good stuff on here that I totally forgot about. And a shit ton of random emo songs from when Caitlyn Ryan and I were emo and used to make each other cds. Oh, those were the days...

My intro to lit teacher lets us pick all our own things to read. The unit we're on is book by authors from Iowa. So, I picked what I though would be like the ultimate easy book to write a paper on-'The Bridges of Madison County' cause, like hello. And I can write about how I remember when they were making the movie and blah blah blah. However, once I got the book (which was a nearly impossible fiasco in itself) and started reading it this morning, I'm kind of freaked out because its actually a really good book. I always feel like I should think everything from/about Winterset is lame, because generally it is, but this book was worth the read. And it was short. I have a new appreciation for short books these days...

I watched 'Eragon' last night, and I've decided it is on my official list of awesomely bad movies. Not quite up to par with 'Lake Placid' or anything, but pretty good. I mean bad.

I'm now halfway through season 4 of 'Xena' and I've kind of started to panic about what I'm going to do when I finish season 6. Then it came to me-I'll watch it again.

I fucking love Netflix.

Its 1:33 a.m. I'm awake. Why? Not for lack of trying to sleep, but in fact because some girls in are outside my door pulling up the carpet tiles and moving them around to switch the pattern. I could be frustrated, but I'm actually really amused. I just hope they don't get a noise complaint...

Looks like its time to watch another episode of 'Xena'...

(this blog is going to be hilarious, because of the following sentence)

So I was sitting next to this Nascar enthusiast at dinner tonight.....
(told you)

And he was watching the race on tv. And he kept saying things (to me) like 'Isn't it amazing that's happening at 180?'

I pretended I was deaf.

This did not deter the Nascar enthusiast.

Then it switched to 'YES!!' and 'WHOO' and 'Isn't it great that Junior is sucking today?'
(he was a very enthusiastic enthusiast)

Simultaniously, he kept going and getting more popcorn shrimp.

And more.

And more.

This guy ate a total of 5 fucking baskets of popcorn shrimp.

JESUS TIT!

Then just as I was getting up to go back to work, a chick sat down on the other side of the bar, and started saying similar things....and soon, the enthusiastic nascar enthusiast and the chick engaged in conversation.

Then they had wild sex on the floor.

Kidding about that last part, but seriously, I think I witnessed a hookup tonight...in the Piazza.

What a magical place.

Today is a great day in the life of Emily Schnurr. Its a refreshing kind of cold outside. I skipped my 8 o'clock class, and I don't feel bad about it. Valentine's Day is over. I was reminded that life and I have a similar sense of humor last night. The air smells like possibilities, and I might just allow myself a little bit of hope. And, to top that all off, I'm going to see a little boy child that I'm madly in love with in a few hours.

I tried really hard to make yesterday good, because I'm sick of hating the big V-Day. Instead of being depressed that I'm apparently not ever going to be in a relationship that means anything, I figured I would try to be happy for people that had found someone extra special, and be thankful for the insane amount of love that I have in my life. That lasted until like....3 in the afternoon. Then I walked past the office and saw all the flowers...and I slipped back into my usual 'rawr I hate this day' mood. Eh. A for effort.

In Netflix news-Xena is the best show ever. The end.

I should have blogged something on the big To Write Love on Her Arms day thing...but I didn't have my opinion about it well enough organized. So that topic will have to wait until March 11 (one of my favorite things that has happened today was that I got on facebook, and self injury awareness day is an event...and T.J. Hendricks is attending. Like I said, life and I have a very similar sense of humor).

That's all.

-Sometimes sleep really annoys me. There's too much to do, and I hate that I have to spend so much time sleeping because then I don't get to do fun stuff. I like the 'I'll sleep when I'm dead' mentality. However, after (and by that I mean, I'm still in the middle of) a serious bout with insomnia, it feels really fucking good to be rested. I slept 16 hours the whole week last week, and by Friday, I couldn't even register where I was. Now, I'm joining the pill brigade, and I hate that, but I need to function.

-Professor quote-'Point of view has a friend, and it is named Stance.' He's a nice guy, but I wish his class was more about reading (its intro to lit) and less about us sharing our life stories in class. Its a lit class, not psychotherapy.

-Its freezing raining today. I was having a good chuckle to myself about how funny it is when people fall down, then I fell down....I continued to chuckle.

-I made coffee for myself this morning in my very own coffee pot. It was a ver fulfilling experience.

-I hate the Superbowl. Stupidest game in the stupidest sport in history.

-I got a bunch of new music last weekend. I'm afraid I'm going to get new music overloaded and miss listening to something great because there is so much to listen to.

-I'm scared for Wednesday....4 years. Holy shit.

-Don't feel bad if you don't get that. I'm might blog about it, but I'm not sure.

-'House' was fucking badass last night. Dear god I love that show.

-I have to go to class now.

-The end.

-Cydonia was a region in Greece named after King Cydon, who was the son of Hermes and some dumb bitch. Its also a place on Mars where there are faces, i.e. maybe life? If, hypothetically speaking, Cydonia had knights, a stupid band called Muse could write a dumb song about these 'Knights of Cydonia' and then a video game company could put this song on Guitar Hero 3. And if all of these conditions were present, I would believe this song was in place just to make my life miserable, because that's what its doing.

-My eye won't stop twitching, I'm sure this is just my brain tumor. Or SaraH is in mortal danger. Either way, no worries.

-I woke up this morning because I left my window open last night and around 8 a gale force wind started blowing shit around my room. It was scary and unpleasant.

-There's this quote I used to like, it went something like '4 a.m. is the hardest time to be alive. 4 a.m. knows all my secrets, 4 a.m. is where all my dreams die.' I would say, on a personal note, when insomnia hits, its actually around 5:30 that those things happen, especially if your dream involves sleeping.

-Real professor quote: 'You are all a species of homos. There were homos before you, and when you guys reproduce, there will be more homos. But thanks to evolution and genetic diversity, there is a lot of genetic variety in the homo species.' This is also the guy that did an impression of a sperm playing football. Sometimes I like college.

-I used to take this personality disorder test at www.4degreez.com when I was really screwed up. I usually scored very high for Borderline, and high for like Histrionic and Obsessive-Compulsive. I took it last week, and I scored low on everything. That's right kittens, I'm now the picture of mental health. You all should strive to be more like me (ha!).

-I'm officially addicted to watching t.v. shows on Netflix. I've watched all the good shows, and I'm at the point where I'm going to start watching 'Xena'. No joke, I really am that lame....but mentally healthy!

-The end.

Last night, I saw the movie 'Cloverfield'. It was so amazing! It was terrifying (possibly the scariest movie I've ever seen) because it didn't rely on gore, or a serial killer. I mean, its pretty straight forward-a monster is attacking New York City. You (in the beginning) have no idea what it is, where it came from or why it is attacking, but it is. Now, what are you going to do?

Since it was all filmed with a handheld camera, you feel like you're right there with the characters. So since then I've been thinking a lot about what I would do. Would I try to save people (especially people that I love), or would I just run?

And I'm not sure what the answer to that is. Part of me hopes I would just run like hell (self preservation is not always a bad thing). I wouldn't expect anyone to come back for me, in fact I would hate it if someone risked their life for me. I think when it came right down to it, there are people I would go back for. Not because I want to be a hero, or anything like that. But because I'd rather die doing good than live wishing I had.

I know, its all very hypothetical. Monsters aren't going to attack anywhere, I know that. But there are 'monsters' that really do exist. What if we got nuked? or attacked by...I don't know terrorists again or something. Really, what would you do?

Anway, 'Cloverfield' is an excellent movie, well worth however much you have to pay for it and however far you have to drive to see it. Now I'm off to work!

Well, kittens, I must say life is pretty good today. Execpt for the fact that its snowing like its going out of style and I have to work....But right at this moment things are good! I'm interneting and listening to Cher. Honestly, what more does a girl need?

So yesterday, I was working, and let's just say things are rather....interesting (ha!) there right now, and anyway I got off and I walked through B&N cause they're having a super mega sale, and I'm looking at one of the tables, and what should appear before my eyes? Probably the greatest book ever writte-'The Giant Book of Insults'. How fucking amazing is that? And they had a deal where you could get 3 books for $9.99 (but I'm a member so it was less that that), but anyway, I also got a novel by Snoop Dogg and some Van Gogh post-it notes. What I'm saying here is, I pretty much spent the best $10 of my life last night. Thanks B&N!

Anywho, I think its time for me to play a fun game of 'figure out which clothes laying on my floor are dirty and then do laundry', so I'm off.

Today totally sucked. Not because I was nursing a hangover like most of the rest of the world (I almost wish I had been...) but because this stupid fucking idiot assisstant manager at Wilson's makes me want to shoot someone. Mostly her.

This is why I got a playstation, so I could kill people in an acceptable manner...

Last night was pretty fun though. I went to a lockin at a church, and I know that makes me lame, but I'm sort of ok with that. I've really had enough heavy drinking for awhile. Sometimes its nice to remember what happened on your birthday. Sometimes not, but sometimes yes.

My step-sister had her baby finally. In case you missed it, just turned 18, she's dropped out of high school and works at wal-mart. The baby's dad (her boyfriend) is 25, like $20,ooo in debt and has not job. WINNERS!! I went to see the baby, and a couple of minorly distressing things happened: 1) I got sort of maternal, which freaked me out, and 2) I got really fucking scared. This kid doesn't stand a fucking chance, and Angela is so stupid and wouldn't give her up for adoption. So now there is a little girl named Keara in the world, who will someday have a favorite food and color and will have interests and has the possibility of having so much potential, and my step sister is flushing all that down the toilet. Its really really fucking depressing.....and I guess I don't even know what more to say about it. I'm trying to remain optimistic, but it kind of isn't working.

In other news, I'm excited about the caucus. GO OBAMA!! Sara Lamb and I are making cookies tomorrow, its gonna be awesome, and if you feel like coming, you should. I'm figuring its gonna be like a big party. And who doesn't like a big party with Obama cookies?? No one. duh.