So, I woke up this morning at 10 (I skipped my 8...because, well Megan came over and we watched Shop Erotic until like 3...and then getting up at 7:30 for class just really wasn't for me), and as I was checking my email to make sure that God still hates me and didn't make Dise cancel humanities, I realized, to my sort of horror that the pressure ball from my nose ring is gone.

One of 3 things had to have happened, I'll list them in order of likliness. 1)I knocked it off at some point in the night and its now lost in the jungle of dust and empty water bottles under my bed. 2)I sniffed it up, and it went down my throat and is now festering in acid in my stomach. 3) I sniffed it up and its now in my sinuses and will probably somehow travel to my brain and I'll die.

I'm pretty sure its on the floor, because even though it was pretty little, the hole to go up to my sinuses if fucking tiny...and it would have hurt like a son of a bitch, at least enough to wake me up with intense pain in my nose. The way I figure, if it hurts to sniff cocaine, a powder, a pressure ball which is solid, would hurt a lot worse. Plus I would probably have a headache, and my body would be producing a shit ton of snot to try to get the damn thing out. And I would probably be able to feel it. Logically, it is on the floor somewhere.

However, my intense hypochondria is convincing me that I'll probably die later today. And if that's the case, well, Andy is in charge of my funeral music and Caitlyn Ryan gets my shoes.

Today, I'm feeling conflicted about my major. I've always (I mean...ALWAYS) thought that psychology was what I was supposed to do, especially after the accident. For some reason its just always been there, and when I told everyone I wanted to be an actress or a writer, in the back of my mind it was always psychologist.

But, I'm becoming increasingly agitated. Mr. Kammin always said that in psychology, your first patient is yourself, and that's part of what has drawn me to it. I've always felt like the answer to everything is somewhere inside myself, and if I keep working at it, I'll figure out what's wrong with me.

Now, I'm starting to get scared about what I'm going to find. Maybe I just don't want to know. On the other hand, it pisses me off that I'm even thinking that, because I'll be damned if I'll ever back down from a fight. But maybe this is one that I can't win, and I should just stop digging into my mind before I find something I don't want to see.

As you can see, I've had wayyyyyyy too much time to think lately.

(sidenote-don't get freaked out, i'm really ok. i'm not feeling overly depressed or stressed or anything like that, i'm just trying to make good, well thought out decisions for once in my life, and this is one of those that i'm finding ridiculously perplexing)

I hate when I feel like writing, but I've blown all my good words on a paper for a class that I don't care about. Silly me and my inability to plan ahead.

-So its gonna be one of these kind of blogs.

-I slept a lot over spring break. It was weird, but refreshing. Could have helped that like...everynight execpt one I was intoxicated in one way or another. That always helps.

-Spring break was busier than I wanted. Apparently, having no plans just means that I'll make more plans than I really want to have time for. Hopefully, summer will be better. That makes it sound like I had a bad spring break....totally untrue, it was a blast and I did exactly what I wanted and I saw everyone I wanted to see. And I hung out with my boys, and so of course it was amazing!

-My water tastes like refridgerator. And I'm thirsty. And poor. Damnit.

-I only got to watch one episode of Xena while I was home. It was sad. But not really overly sad because there was enough gay that I didn't need Xena as a dyke-a-licious supplement. And let me just say, they really REALLY gay-ed up season 6. Probably by the end of the week I will write a thing about really why I think I liked this show so much, or maybe I won't. It'll be a fun suprise!

-I started doing yoga. It hurts.

-I got a new ear piercing. It hurts. Its called a 'conch' and it made me laugh because it reminded me of that spongebob episode where they wreck a plane or something and they are consulting the magic conch shell. And I'm excited because I can put a bar between it and my tragus and it'll be like an industrial execpt I've never seen an actual person with one like that. Trust me when I say it will be badass. Emily Uniqueness points=+1

-Tomorrow I think I'm going to clean my room. Haha...maybe.

-That's all for now.

So, here is my official word/experience of the lockdown yesterday:

I didn't find out about it until 6, cause I was at work. And when we got the word, they were making it sound like someone was actually in Dancer with a gun. So, that was kind of freaky, but I wasn't too worked up because they weren't saying anyone was hurt, and that's like as far away from me as you can possibly get while still being on this campus. Then they started saying that it was just a potential threat, but we say cops taking 2 guys out of Rider (which is right next door)...and that was when things got really scary cause it felt like there was more going on than they were telling us.

Anyway, so I got back to my room, and found out what was really going on and started calling everyone that called me, and yeah. It ended up being kind of stupid, but I'm ok with that becaues with the way things are sometimes its worth it.

There were some other people that got really worried, but I was never more than minorly alarmed, and I'll tell you why: All the goddamn bomb threats! I'm pretty sure the ridiculous number of times someone threatened to blow up my high school has made a block in my brain that prevents me from getting worried about that kind of stuff. The lock down reminded me of that time when we had to go outside at noon, because someone wrote on a bathroom wall that the school was going to explode.

Seriously?

No.

So, the lockdown gave the campus a little excitement, but everything is totally back to normal today..and all is well in the kingdom.

But, now I'm super extra excited to come home!

So, yesterday I was at breakfast (after getting up at 7 AND going to my 8 o'clock class...both independent minor miracles), and they always have The Today Show on all the t.v.'s which seems odd to me, but whatever that's how it is.

Anyway, they had this 17 MONTH old little girl that could read. What.The.Fuck? Not even 2 years old, and the kid can like...read shit. That's in-fucking-sane. And what's worse, is that the little kids are getting smarter every year. Now they're learning to read in kindergarten, which is putting shame to the letter people that I was learning about in kindergarten.

This has led me to conclude, that 1 or 2 or both of these things will happen: 1) they will come up with a degree higher than a doctorate, cause by the time that little girl graduates college, everyone's gonna have to be a doctor just to make a decent living. B.A.'s will just be a starter degree. And/or 2) my education will become completly obsolete. And, that's just more than a little depressing.

Thus, I have decided I'm going to drop out of society Chris McCandless style (minus the starving to death in a bus in Alaska part). Execpt, I'd rather move to Canada and become a hermit. I'm guessing that is a mostly ideal environment to have a shit-ton of cats when I'm a cat lady.

Dear Hillary Clinton,

Please drop out of the presidential election race. You won't become the democratic candidate, and the reason I know this is because of facebook. The anti barack obama group has less than 20,000 members, the anti you group has over 900,000. Duh. Drop out so I can start liking you again.

That's all.

Love,
Emily

I'm starting a new project today, because it looks warm outside and spring always seems like a time to start things. I dreamed this up the other day when I was making a mix cd, and I was trying to figure out which Shin's song on the Garden State Soundtrack was supposed to change your life. I came across this thing that Zach Braff wrote about how that soundtrack is really the soundtrack of his life...and I thought 'Holy shit, that would be like major fun to do.' So, I started looking through the music on my computer, and realized that at least half of it is mix cds and I don't have the names of the songs.

So, I'm going through my music library, song by song, google-ing the lyrics, and naming everything. It was fun for awhile, now its just tedious. But I'll be happy about it when I'm done, and there is some good stuff on here that I totally forgot about. And a shit ton of random emo songs from when Caitlyn Ryan and I were emo and used to make each other cds. Oh, those were the days...

My intro to lit teacher lets us pick all our own things to read. The unit we're on is book by authors from Iowa. So, I picked what I though would be like the ultimate easy book to write a paper on-'The Bridges of Madison County' cause, like hello. And I can write about how I remember when they were making the movie and blah blah blah. However, once I got the book (which was a nearly impossible fiasco in itself) and started reading it this morning, I'm kind of freaked out because its actually a really good book. I always feel like I should think everything from/about Winterset is lame, because generally it is, but this book was worth the read. And it was short. I have a new appreciation for short books these days...

I watched 'Eragon' last night, and I've decided it is on my official list of awesomely bad movies. Not quite up to par with 'Lake Placid' or anything, but pretty good. I mean bad.

I'm now halfway through season 4 of 'Xena' and I've kind of started to panic about what I'm going to do when I finish season 6. Then it came to me-I'll watch it again.

I fucking love Netflix.