So, today I went to Wal Mart. I know, bad right? But anyway I walked in and was shocked to see that instead of the normal friendly old man, there was a less friendly looking old woman in the greeter chair.
Now, I'm a proper third wave feminist, so I feel like I can say and feel only a little bit of guilt for thinking it in the first place. But I don't think women should be Wal Mart greeters. Don't get me wrong, I believe they can fulfill the job requirements as well as a man, but it just doesn't feel right.
I mean, what is the point of the Wal Mart greeter? To make you feel more comfortable spending lots of money on shit you most likely don't really need, right? When I see an old woman, I don't want to spend money, plain and simple. Old women are, generally speaking, not nearly as much fun as old men because at some point old men stop caring about political correctness and old women never really do.
I realize I'm making ridiculous generalizations here, and I'm sure there is some old woman out there who is the best Wal Mart greeter ever. But, she is canceled out by the grumpy old woman who was greeting today
Monday, November 9, 2009
Friday, October 9, 2009
Sunday, September 27, 2009
My, my, my...what crazy times these are. It never ceases to amaze me how randomly and out of nowhere things happen. Just when you think you have enough of things figured out that you just might be doing ok....here comes ______ and whoa! wait! not so much...
I'm not a relationship person, in fact, I wouldn't even say I've ever been in like a real one, but I've met someone, and I'm thinking its time to break that mold. Here's to hoping I only screw this up in a way that is cute instead of deal breaking.
I'm not a relationship person, in fact, I wouldn't even say I've ever been in like a real one, but I've met someone, and I'm thinking its time to break that mold. Here's to hoping I only screw this up in a way that is cute instead of deal breaking.
Monday, August 24, 2009
...and so begins my new project: blogging at least once a week.
So, I have a theory, and it goes a little something like companies put crack in food so people will get addicted to said food and said company will make a shit ton of money and whatnot. I now believe this is also true about gourmet coffee. I ran out of free half-pounds at Caribou, so I bought some Folgers shit..whatever because I'm cheap and didn't want to spring for the Starbucks kind at Walmart. ANYWAY I made a pot of it this morning.....it was awful. Like...really awful. Clearly, I've been coked out and decieved by gourmet coffee companies. Goddamnit.
In other more serious news: anyone reading this probably knows that I'm very fond of being in the loop. I like knowing what's going on...being a part of the 'in' crowd...you know...that kind of thing. But I'm in a situation where I almost feel like I know too much. Knowledge can be a burden I guess, but disappointment is a bigger one.
I just don't understand why it's so hard for people to just do the right thing. Yeah, sometimes that's a blurry line, but a lot of times there is a very clear right choice, and very clear obvious and undesireable consequences for making the wrong choice...but people do it anyway. And then (I'm not emo, let me be clear, but Dashboard Confessional sums this up perfectly):
"How can you ask for forgiveness? Now you think your crimes are victimless..."
Ugh. Prayers...positive energy...happy thoughts for Winterset tonight. Enjoy the fireworks.
So, I have a theory, and it goes a little something like companies put crack in food so people will get addicted to said food and said company will make a shit ton of money and whatnot. I now believe this is also true about gourmet coffee. I ran out of free half-pounds at Caribou, so I bought some Folgers shit..whatever because I'm cheap and didn't want to spring for the Starbucks kind at Walmart. ANYWAY I made a pot of it this morning.....it was awful. Like...really awful. Clearly, I've been coked out and decieved by gourmet coffee companies. Goddamnit.
In other more serious news: anyone reading this probably knows that I'm very fond of being in the loop. I like knowing what's going on...being a part of the 'in' crowd...you know...that kind of thing. But I'm in a situation where I almost feel like I know too much. Knowledge can be a burden I guess, but disappointment is a bigger one.
I just don't understand why it's so hard for people to just do the right thing. Yeah, sometimes that's a blurry line, but a lot of times there is a very clear right choice, and very clear obvious and undesireable consequences for making the wrong choice...but people do it anyway. And then (I'm not emo, let me be clear, but Dashboard Confessional sums this up perfectly):
"How can you ask for forgiveness? Now you think your crimes are victimless..."
Ugh. Prayers...positive energy...happy thoughts for Winterset tonight. Enjoy the fireworks.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Things I learned this weekend:
1. I am twice as productive when I'm wearing a hood. And I am at least ten times more productive on Saturdays than on Sundays.
2. A bottle of beer placed in the freezer portion of my refridgerator will, in fact, freeze.
3. Norah Roberts movies on Lifetime are as lame as her books.
4. My remote starter will start my car from inside my room. Win.
5. Microwave brownies single handedly encompass everything that is good about the world.
1. I am twice as productive when I'm wearing a hood. And I am at least ten times more productive on Saturdays than on Sundays.
2. A bottle of beer placed in the freezer portion of my refridgerator will, in fact, freeze.
3. Norah Roberts movies on Lifetime are as lame as her books.
4. My remote starter will start my car from inside my room. Win.
5. Microwave brownies single handedly encompass everything that is good about the world.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Friday, March 20, 2009
(I haven't written a good blog in a long time...but I wrote this last night, and for some reason I feel like it should be posted. So here you are.)
“Life is what happens while you’re busy making plans for it.”
And sometimes you make plans, and life gets in the way.
Today, very suddenly and unexpectedly, my mom’s horse had to be put down. Colic (which is apparently a horse death sentence). Mom and I were supposed to hang out…go to DesMo, shop..hang out, whatever. So she came home, said the horse looked kind of sick, called the vet who informed her that her horse was going to die, then a few hours later they killed it. Fucking out of nowhere.
I think in some ways it’s harder to lose a pet than a person. I’m not exactly sure why, maybe it’s that unconditional love thing, or maybe they’re just cuter. Andy said it’s because with people you know how to feel, and with animals you really don’t. Hard to say.
So now I’m trying to figure out how to feel. I’ve made it no secret that I don’t like horses. I think they’re big and smelly and kind of obnoxious. And they’ve brought nothing but trouble to my life. But that’s really beside the point right now. I feel bad for my mom, because she’s fucking devastated, as would be expected. And I wish I had some sort of idea what to say to make her feel better.
Instead of trying to figure it out though, I just left when my step dad got home. Some people can take pain like a punch in the face…I, however, run as far and as fast as I can.
Being in this house is killing me. The air feels like death, but it’s like I’m in this isolated bubble and it can’t touch me. I can’t really handle being so physically close to death yet so emotionally far away from it. I mean, am I even going to remember this in 5 years? This creature that my mom loved has died, and the universe didn’t even blink…did I?
A better person would have stayed. A good daughter would know what to say and how to feel and would maybe even be comforting. But that’s not what I did. Does that make me a bad person, a bad daughter?
The other horse is out there crying….and oddly enough, it’s breaking my heart. RIP.
“Life is what happens while you’re busy making plans for it.”
And sometimes you make plans, and life gets in the way.
Today, very suddenly and unexpectedly, my mom’s horse had to be put down. Colic (which is apparently a horse death sentence). Mom and I were supposed to hang out…go to DesMo, shop..hang out, whatever. So she came home, said the horse looked kind of sick, called the vet who informed her that her horse was going to die, then a few hours later they killed it. Fucking out of nowhere.
I think in some ways it’s harder to lose a pet than a person. I’m not exactly sure why, maybe it’s that unconditional love thing, or maybe they’re just cuter. Andy said it’s because with people you know how to feel, and with animals you really don’t. Hard to say.
So now I’m trying to figure out how to feel. I’ve made it no secret that I don’t like horses. I think they’re big and smelly and kind of obnoxious. And they’ve brought nothing but trouble to my life. But that’s really beside the point right now. I feel bad for my mom, because she’s fucking devastated, as would be expected. And I wish I had some sort of idea what to say to make her feel better.
Instead of trying to figure it out though, I just left when my step dad got home. Some people can take pain like a punch in the face…I, however, run as far and as fast as I can.
Being in this house is killing me. The air feels like death, but it’s like I’m in this isolated bubble and it can’t touch me. I can’t really handle being so physically close to death yet so emotionally far away from it. I mean, am I even going to remember this in 5 years? This creature that my mom loved has died, and the universe didn’t even blink…did I?
A better person would have stayed. A good daughter would know what to say and how to feel and would maybe even be comforting. But that’s not what I did. Does that make me a bad person, a bad daughter?
The other horse is out there crying….and oddly enough, it’s breaking my heart. RIP.
Saturday, February 7, 2009
I haven't really said much about this, but I like my roommate. She's a pretty kick ass person, and I need more friends like her in my life.
Her great-grandma just went into hospice, and she's probably not going to make it through the week. That's a tough situation, and I have no idea how to help her deal with it. I'm good at distracting conversation and being funny, but I don't know how I am at dealing with the raw emotion that comes with grief. I know nothing anyone ever says will make you feel better, and for the most part you just have to work through it yourself, or at least that's what I've heard.
Really, this comes down to some social anxiety for me about my awkward hugging thing. Jeez I'm selfish...
Her great-grandma just went into hospice, and she's probably not going to make it through the week. That's a tough situation, and I have no idea how to help her deal with it. I'm good at distracting conversation and being funny, but I don't know how I am at dealing with the raw emotion that comes with grief. I know nothing anyone ever says will make you feel better, and for the most part you just have to work through it yourself, or at least that's what I've heard.
Really, this comes down to some social anxiety for me about my awkward hugging thing. Jeez I'm selfish...
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Sorry I'm lame, here are a couple of gum reviews.
Positively Pomegranate by Orbit
1 out of 5. It's pretty bad. It doesn't taste like pomegranate, and whatever the flavor was, it was not very good. I chewed half the pack and then gave it away. It also dissolves in your mouth which is just kind of disgusting. Don't buy it, there are much better (x10) fruit gums for your money.
Nonstop Mint by Stride.
...It's not perfect, but its fucking close, so 4.75 out of 5. Mostly I'm a fan of the creativity by Stride here. I like to imagine their thought process was something like "Hey, our gum lasts a ridiculously long time, so we're selling a lot of it...and that's exciting and stuff. But all our mint gum sales are about even, which means people generally like all flavors of mint gum. GREAT SCOTT! Why don't we combine all the mint flavors into one gum that will blow everyone's mind with awesome!! BRILLIANT!".
It starts out tasting pretty spearminty, then it kind of fades into an interesting wintergreen/peppermint combination. Cinnamon is not present, but I'm ok with that, because I don't really like cinnamon gum. It lasts a really long time, and the texture is generally perfect. Don't get discouraged with the first piece, it takes a bit of getting used to, but if you give it a chance you will not be disappointed. I would go so far as to say as of right now, this is my favorite mint gum of all time.
Xtra Care Peppermint by Trident
4 out of 5.
Trident does a lot of things wrong in today's gum market. Their packaging is inconvenient and out of date, their pieces are tiny and with Orbit to compete with on the 'we're good for your teeth!' front, that isn't even really working for them anymore. But with this new stuff they've got out, it seems they're finally getting with the program. The packaging is updated, so you don't have to worry about losing pieces in your pocket or purse or backpack anymore. The flavor is typical, but the texture is great and flavor longetivity isn't too bad. And they've put something new in it that makes it like extra awesome for your teeth. I'm glad to say, Trident is getting back on the map.
That's all for now.
Positively Pomegranate by Orbit
1 out of 5. It's pretty bad. It doesn't taste like pomegranate, and whatever the flavor was, it was not very good. I chewed half the pack and then gave it away. It also dissolves in your mouth which is just kind of disgusting. Don't buy it, there are much better (x10) fruit gums for your money.
Nonstop Mint by Stride.
...It's not perfect, but its fucking close, so 4.75 out of 5. Mostly I'm a fan of the creativity by Stride here. I like to imagine their thought process was something like "Hey, our gum lasts a ridiculously long time, so we're selling a lot of it...and that's exciting and stuff. But all our mint gum sales are about even, which means people generally like all flavors of mint gum. GREAT SCOTT! Why don't we combine all the mint flavors into one gum that will blow everyone's mind with awesome!! BRILLIANT!".
It starts out tasting pretty spearminty, then it kind of fades into an interesting wintergreen/peppermint combination. Cinnamon is not present, but I'm ok with that, because I don't really like cinnamon gum. It lasts a really long time, and the texture is generally perfect. Don't get discouraged with the first piece, it takes a bit of getting used to, but if you give it a chance you will not be disappointed. I would go so far as to say as of right now, this is my favorite mint gum of all time.
Xtra Care Peppermint by Trident
4 out of 5.
Trident does a lot of things wrong in today's gum market. Their packaging is inconvenient and out of date, their pieces are tiny and with Orbit to compete with on the 'we're good for your teeth!' front, that isn't even really working for them anymore. But with this new stuff they've got out, it seems they're finally getting with the program. The packaging is updated, so you don't have to worry about losing pieces in your pocket or purse or backpack anymore. The flavor is typical, but the texture is great and flavor longetivity isn't too bad. And they've put something new in it that makes it like extra awesome for your teeth. I'm glad to say, Trident is getting back on the map.
That's all for now.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Inaguration by the numbers:
As of 10:50 a.m. (11:50 EST), MSNBC coverage
People shown crying:7
Oversized bows on Aretha Franklin:1
People at this shindig: 2 million-ish
Minutes 'Simple Gifts' will be stuck in my head after Yo-Yo Ma plays it: hundreds
Scene shots of seagulls: 1
Ugly colors worn by Lady Obama: 1=puke green...w.t.f.?
Times Obama messed up his oath: 3...aww he was nervous
Times his daughters were adorable: too many
Times the Bible was quoted in inaguration address:1
People sleeping behind Obama: 2...I'm not kidding.
Shout-outs to atheists: 1
Lame poems read:1
How hopeful I am right now, on a scale of one to very: VERY.
Way to go America.
As of 10:50 a.m. (11:50 EST), MSNBC coverage
People shown crying:7
Oversized bows on Aretha Franklin:1
People at this shindig: 2 million-ish
Minutes 'Simple Gifts' will be stuck in my head after Yo-Yo Ma plays it: hundreds
Scene shots of seagulls: 1
Ugly colors worn by Lady Obama: 1=puke green...w.t.f.?
Times Obama messed up his oath: 3...aww he was nervous
Times his daughters were adorable: too many
Times the Bible was quoted in inaguration address:1
People sleeping behind Obama: 2...I'm not kidding.
Shout-outs to atheists: 1
Lame poems read:1
How hopeful I am right now, on a scale of one to very: VERY.
Way to go America.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
So here is my live blog of George W. Bush's farewell speech (I'm calling it the 'So Long Asshole' address in my head)(that's not very nice...I'm going to try to not get yelly during this, but it might happen)(W and I have a lot of bad blood).
6:52 p.m.-Wheel of Fortune is on right now. The chick that just won is really obnoxious. I hope she loses.
6:55-I think its kind of weird how Pat always has to hold the person's hand when they walk from the winner's wheel to the solving area.
6:56-She lost. And she would have gotten $30,000. Ha ha bitch. Ha ha.
6:59-Do you think president's get nervous before they give nationally televised addresses?
-also, I just tried to turn up the t.v. on my computer. Yeah, I'm in college.
7:01-Note:Laura Bush is wearing red shoes. I hope you all know what that means.
-I hope they don't applaude through this whole thing. That would get annoying and I got shit
to do
7:03-He's working a little bit of a unibrow. You think they would have done some manscaping before this. I would have...except it would be womanscaping. Same principle though.
7:04-"The nation is equipped with new tools to stop terrorists"...as in unwarranted wiretaps?
7:05-"Iraq is a friend of the United States"...lol.
7:06-Thing I won't miss about W #1-That stupid smirk on his face all the time.
7:07-"Across our country students are rising to meet higher standards" "The addicted and suffering are finding hope through faith based programs"...No Child Left Behind say what? No. And also, WTF did you have to do with rehab programs? I'm pretty sure that shits been around longer than you.
7:09-"I've always acted in the best interest of the country"...Oh W. I suppose if you consider what's best for your ego what's best for America then yes.
7:11-WTF is he doing with his eyebrows? Is he having a stroke?
7:12-"This is a country where immigrants are willing to give everything for freedom" and we will then load them on buses and send them back where they came from.
7:13-Why do I care about these people? Answer:I don't.
7:14-God bless you too W. Just go back to Texas and fade away so I never have to see you on TV again.
Wow...that was pretty quick. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: W is just a guy. Probably wouldn't be lame to hang out with, probably would have been a good president if September 11 hadn't happened. I don't think he is in anyway a bad person, I think if anything he was misguided, and is still misguided and will continue being misguided about how he's trying to sell his legacy for probably the rest of his life. Maybe history will remember him more kindly than we know him right now...I can't say. I do know that I'm glad to see him go, and I'm so incredibly excited about our next president, I can hardly contain myself.
So, in the spirit of looking forward instead of back, Tuesday is going to be a great day.
6:52 p.m.-Wheel of Fortune is on right now. The chick that just won is really obnoxious. I hope she loses.
6:55-I think its kind of weird how Pat always has to hold the person's hand when they walk from the winner's wheel to the solving area.
6:56-She lost. And she would have gotten $30,000. Ha ha bitch. Ha ha.
6:59-Do you think president's get nervous before they give nationally televised addresses?
-also, I just tried to turn up the t.v. on my computer. Yeah, I'm in college.
7:01-Note:Laura Bush is wearing red shoes. I hope you all know what that means.
-I hope they don't applaude through this whole thing. That would get annoying and I got shit
to do
7:03-He's working a little bit of a unibrow. You think they would have done some manscaping before this. I would have...except it would be womanscaping. Same principle though.
7:04-"The nation is equipped with new tools to stop terrorists"...as in unwarranted wiretaps?
7:05-"Iraq is a friend of the United States"...lol.
7:06-Thing I won't miss about W #1-That stupid smirk on his face all the time.
7:07-"Across our country students are rising to meet higher standards" "The addicted and suffering are finding hope through faith based programs"...No Child Left Behind say what? No. And also, WTF did you have to do with rehab programs? I'm pretty sure that shits been around longer than you.
7:09-"I've always acted in the best interest of the country"...Oh W. I suppose if you consider what's best for your ego what's best for America then yes.
7:11-WTF is he doing with his eyebrows? Is he having a stroke?
7:12-"This is a country where immigrants are willing to give everything for freedom" and we will then load them on buses and send them back where they came from.
7:13-Why do I care about these people? Answer:I don't.
7:14-God bless you too W. Just go back to Texas and fade away so I never have to see you on TV again.
Wow...that was pretty quick. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: W is just a guy. Probably wouldn't be lame to hang out with, probably would have been a good president if September 11 hadn't happened. I don't think he is in anyway a bad person, I think if anything he was misguided, and is still misguided and will continue being misguided about how he's trying to sell his legacy for probably the rest of his life. Maybe history will remember him more kindly than we know him right now...I can't say. I do know that I'm glad to see him go, and I'm so incredibly excited about our next president, I can hardly contain myself.
So, in the spirit of looking forward instead of back, Tuesday is going to be a great day.
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