Sorry I'm lame, here are a couple of gum reviews.

Positively Pomegranate by Orbit

1 out of 5. It's pretty bad. It doesn't taste like pomegranate, and whatever the flavor was, it was not very good. I chewed half the pack and then gave it away. It also dissolves in your mouth which is just kind of disgusting. Don't buy it, there are much better (x10) fruit gums for your money.

Nonstop Mint by Stride.

...It's not perfect, but its fucking close, so 4.75 out of 5. Mostly I'm a fan of the creativity by Stride here. I like to imagine their thought process was something like "Hey, our gum lasts a ridiculously long time, so we're selling a lot of it...and that's exciting and stuff. But all our mint gum sales are about even, which means people generally like all flavors of mint gum. GREAT SCOTT! Why don't we combine all the mint flavors into one gum that will blow everyone's mind with awesome!! BRILLIANT!".

It starts out tasting pretty spearminty, then it kind of fades into an interesting wintergreen/peppermint combination. Cinnamon is not present, but I'm ok with that, because I don't really like cinnamon gum. It lasts a really long time, and the texture is generally perfect. Don't get discouraged with the first piece, it takes a bit of getting used to, but if you give it a chance you will not be disappointed. I would go so far as to say as of right now, this is my favorite mint gum of all time.

Xtra Care Peppermint by Trident

4 out of 5.

Trident does a lot of things wrong in today's gum market. Their packaging is inconvenient and out of date, their pieces are tiny and with Orbit to compete with on the 'we're good for your teeth!' front, that isn't even really working for them anymore. But with this new stuff they've got out, it seems they're finally getting with the program. The packaging is updated, so you don't have to worry about losing pieces in your pocket or purse or backpack anymore. The flavor is typical, but the texture is great and flavor longetivity isn't too bad. And they've put something new in it that makes it like extra awesome for your teeth. I'm glad to say, Trident is getting back on the map.

That's all for now.

Inaguration by the numbers:

As of 10:50 a.m. (11:50 EST), MSNBC coverage

People shown crying:7

Oversized bows on Aretha Franklin:1

People at this shindig: 2 million-ish

Minutes 'Simple Gifts' will be stuck in my head after Yo-Yo Ma plays it: hundreds

Scene shots of seagulls: 1

Ugly colors worn by Lady Obama: 1=puke green...w.t.f.?

Times Obama messed up his oath: 3...aww he was nervous

Times his daughters were adorable: too many

Times the Bible was quoted in inaguration address:1

People sleeping behind Obama: 2...I'm not kidding.

Shout-outs to atheists: 1

Lame poems read:1

How hopeful I am right now, on a scale of one to very: VERY.

Way to go America.

So here is my live blog of George W. Bush's farewell speech (I'm calling it the 'So Long Asshole' address in my head)(that's not very nice...I'm going to try to not get yelly during this, but it might happen)(W and I have a lot of bad blood).

6:52 p.m.-Wheel of Fortune is on right now. The chick that just won is really obnoxious. I hope she loses.

6:55-I think its kind of weird how Pat always has to hold the person's hand when they walk from the winner's wheel to the solving area.

6:56-She lost. And she would have gotten $30,000. Ha ha bitch. Ha ha.

6:59-Do you think president's get nervous before they give nationally televised addresses?
-also, I just tried to turn up the t.v. on my computer. Yeah, I'm in college.

7:01-Note:Laura Bush is wearing red shoes. I hope you all know what that means.
-I hope they don't applaude through this whole thing. That would get annoying and I got shit
to do

7:03-He's working a little bit of a unibrow. You think they would have done some manscaping before this. I would have...except it would be womanscaping. Same principle though.

7:04-"The nation is equipped with new tools to stop terrorists"...as in unwarranted wiretaps?

7:05-"Iraq is a friend of the United States"...lol.

7:06-Thing I won't miss about W #1-That stupid smirk on his face all the time.

7:07-"Across our country students are rising to meet higher standards" "The addicted and suffering are finding hope through faith based programs"...No Child Left Behind say what? No. And also, WTF did you have to do with rehab programs? I'm pretty sure that shits been around longer than you.

7:09-"I've always acted in the best interest of the country"...Oh W. I suppose if you consider what's best for your ego what's best for America then yes.

7:11-WTF is he doing with his eyebrows? Is he having a stroke?

7:12-"This is a country where immigrants are willing to give everything for freedom" and we will then load them on buses and send them back where they came from.

7:13-Why do I care about these people? Answer:I don't.

7:14-God bless you too W. Just go back to Texas and fade away so I never have to see you on TV again.

Wow...that was pretty quick. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: W is just a guy. Probably wouldn't be lame to hang out with, probably would have been a good president if September 11 hadn't happened. I don't think he is in anyway a bad person, I think if anything he was misguided, and is still misguided and will continue being misguided about how he's trying to sell his legacy for probably the rest of his life. Maybe history will remember him more kindly than we know him right now...I can't say. I do know that I'm glad to see him go, and I'm so incredibly excited about our next president, I can hardly contain myself.

So, in the spirit of looking forward instead of back, Tuesday is going to be a great day.