Dear Immune System,
Contrary to what you may have read in whatever magazines you subscribe to in there, human beings need air to breathe. So, I think it's ok for me to speak for the rest of my body when I say...
GET TO WORK! THIS SHIT ISN'T GOING TO CLEAR OUT BY ITSELF!
Kisses,
Emily
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Friday, March 20, 2009
(I haven't written a good blog in a long time...but I wrote this last night, and for some reason I feel like it should be posted. So here you are.)
“Life is what happens while you’re busy making plans for it.”
And sometimes you make plans, and life gets in the way.
Today, very suddenly and unexpectedly, my mom’s horse had to be put down. Colic (which is apparently a horse death sentence). Mom and I were supposed to hang out…go to DesMo, shop..hang out, whatever. So she came home, said the horse looked kind of sick, called the vet who informed her that her horse was going to die, then a few hours later they killed it. Fucking out of nowhere.
I think in some ways it’s harder to lose a pet than a person. I’m not exactly sure why, maybe it’s that unconditional love thing, or maybe they’re just cuter. Andy said it’s because with people you know how to feel, and with animals you really don’t. Hard to say.
So now I’m trying to figure out how to feel. I’ve made it no secret that I don’t like horses. I think they’re big and smelly and kind of obnoxious. And they’ve brought nothing but trouble to my life. But that’s really beside the point right now. I feel bad for my mom, because she’s fucking devastated, as would be expected. And I wish I had some sort of idea what to say to make her feel better.
Instead of trying to figure it out though, I just left when my step dad got home. Some people can take pain like a punch in the face…I, however, run as far and as fast as I can.
Being in this house is killing me. The air feels like death, but it’s like I’m in this isolated bubble and it can’t touch me. I can’t really handle being so physically close to death yet so emotionally far away from it. I mean, am I even going to remember this in 5 years? This creature that my mom loved has died, and the universe didn’t even blink…did I?
A better person would have stayed. A good daughter would know what to say and how to feel and would maybe even be comforting. But that’s not what I did. Does that make me a bad person, a bad daughter?
The other horse is out there crying….and oddly enough, it’s breaking my heart. RIP.
“Life is what happens while you’re busy making plans for it.”
And sometimes you make plans, and life gets in the way.
Today, very suddenly and unexpectedly, my mom’s horse had to be put down. Colic (which is apparently a horse death sentence). Mom and I were supposed to hang out…go to DesMo, shop..hang out, whatever. So she came home, said the horse looked kind of sick, called the vet who informed her that her horse was going to die, then a few hours later they killed it. Fucking out of nowhere.
I think in some ways it’s harder to lose a pet than a person. I’m not exactly sure why, maybe it’s that unconditional love thing, or maybe they’re just cuter. Andy said it’s because with people you know how to feel, and with animals you really don’t. Hard to say.
So now I’m trying to figure out how to feel. I’ve made it no secret that I don’t like horses. I think they’re big and smelly and kind of obnoxious. And they’ve brought nothing but trouble to my life. But that’s really beside the point right now. I feel bad for my mom, because she’s fucking devastated, as would be expected. And I wish I had some sort of idea what to say to make her feel better.
Instead of trying to figure it out though, I just left when my step dad got home. Some people can take pain like a punch in the face…I, however, run as far and as fast as I can.
Being in this house is killing me. The air feels like death, but it’s like I’m in this isolated bubble and it can’t touch me. I can’t really handle being so physically close to death yet so emotionally far away from it. I mean, am I even going to remember this in 5 years? This creature that my mom loved has died, and the universe didn’t even blink…did I?
A better person would have stayed. A good daughter would know what to say and how to feel and would maybe even be comforting. But that’s not what I did. Does that make me a bad person, a bad daughter?
The other horse is out there crying….and oddly enough, it’s breaking my heart. RIP.
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